Pick Up The Pieces

I've found that my friends and I have countless conversations about men wanting us to change for them. Talks about how ridiculous and selfish it is for someone to basically say "I would like you more if you were this way." Our deep discussions have become fueled with anger. It took me this long for me to realize that we are being hypocritical. All we have been saying is "maybe we could have worked if they were this way," "maybe if they tried harder," "maybe if they loved themselves more." We are hoping for these people to change for us, yet we knew exactly what we were getting ourselves into from the beginning. 

If you decide to be with someone and they are insecure, you can't change them. If they are disrespectful, you can't change them. If they don't know how to love, you can not change them. My mom always told me that there will be signs in the beginning of all of your relationships. It is up to us whether or not we accept them for what they are. If you choose to date an asshole, and you fall in love with an asshole, you cannot be surprised that he has remained an asshole throughout your relationship. 

2015, I have seen way more relationships fall apart than blossom. And I've wondered why this became the year of broken promises. As hard as things have gotten, I have watched the people around me learn how to survive and love themselves as they pick up the pieces of their heart. Some of these relationships were unhealthy, some were unbalanced, some were abusive, and some were just shitty timing.

My own relationship has recently came to an end. And just as every relationship is different, every heartbreak is a little different too. I am far from okay, but I am handling it. I have learned so much from my past relationships and those of my friends' so I know that I will heal.

I have some reminders for myself, and others suffering from a broken heart.

Find an outlet. Whether it is running, writing, or music. Use it as much as possible. Don't be that person that is trying to retaliate or that person that is ranting on social media. Having something to keep your mind off things definitely helps.

Don't shut out the people who love you. If you lost track of your relationships with other people, take this opportunity to mend them. You don't have to go through a break up alone so if you have people who care, let them.

Take it as lesson. As hard as things may be, don't push it out your mind. You past relationships will always be useful for future ones. Remember what you love and remember what you hate. Most importantly remember what made things fall apart so you wont make the same mistake twice.

Keep your options open. I'm not saying to jump into a new relationship the first chance you get, but this doesn't mean you have to hate the world either. Don't let yourself believe that all men are the same and don't give up on love.

                              Lo and Lex, friends, your younger sisters, older sisters, and you.. Find yourself. When I love, I love hard. Sometimes when you do that, you lose yourself in the process. Take this time of healing to figure out who you are and what you love about you. When you give your all to someone, it is easy to forget that you can do things alone. As you become more in-tuned to yourself, you may realize that your wants and needs in a relationship are totally different than what you thought. Stay strong and remember that time heals all.
                                                                             xoxo, Ari